Archive | About Things I’m Learning RSS feed for this section

Positive Pressure View

23 Jan

So I’ve found that pretty much for a fact, I am the personality type that, given enough pressure, will cave, not thrive. I’m way more likely to see myself as a failure and I just melt down. Then yesterday came. Somehow at work, we were missing two people and a manager is only capable of effectively covering one. For opening prep, I was called in to come in “early” which was really still later than I would had I been scheduled for opening prep. Basically, we were screwed. Company policy is to open fifteen minutes earlier than what the sign says if we can, and to do that we have to be done with prep and cleaning up after prep fifteen minutes before that. Instead, yesterday we were all still wrapping stuff up in between the first guests. Now one can easily look at this and say we failed. Somehow yesterday, I did not see it that way and instead saw it as a challenge: What good can I make out of this (ridiculously lousy situation)? Instead of weighing me down and getting me further behind, I let the “opportunity to fail” become the more realistic “There is no way it’s going to be the usual perfection that we strive for, so how can I still pull off success of getting prepped for the day as a whole, and how can I do that with excellence?” And it drove me, and encouraged me and made my day so much brighter than it would have been had I believed I had failed—and that that was the end of the story. For once I was able to let the pressure I faced that day be a positive force to push me past the bleak original forecast and forward into success.

What about you? Are you someone who thrives or crumbles under pressure?

Living and Loving “Real” Well (the short version)

3 May

I was asked a few days ago how I wanted to be remembered when I’m gone. I answered, “Someone who lives and loves authentically, who shares her life with others.”

If I don’t do this I cannot leave this legacy.

It’s not even about what people remember about me, if I’m honest, it’s what I know I’ll leave behind. The truth that doesn’t change.
Thus, my actions need to be that.
That may mean I’m going to be honest about things that people will judge me for and decide they don’t like me, but at the end of the day, who’s love do I most strive for?

I hope and I pray that the answer will always be Christ. He has promised to be my portion foremost and all the rest, all the fluffy little extras and relationships that make my life extra blessed will follow.

If they don’t love me in my mess, and except me when I’m broken, and forgive me when I make mistakes, then how is their companionship building in my life?

That’s all. Just my thoughts for the day; something I’m learning.

God doesn’t write Disney stories.

6 Feb

–{I may expand on this in the future, but for now, here are my thoughts}–

His hurt, and His aren’t easy

and His are OH SO complicated we will never know all the details.

{Nor is any of those details ever forgotten by the Writer, nor is there ever apathy toward anything, or anyone at all}

And we can usually never EVER guess whats coming next.

And the impossible DOES happen

{the dead come back to life, and no, theres no, “well they weren’t really dead, they were just sleeping, or they were under a spell.” He’s raised people that were dead for days and their bodies ROTTING so much it smelled.}

And so in this, I’m glad, because as much as I hate it sometimes, and as much as being part of one of His stories hurts and is frustrating, I can know that indeed ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

Besides, all the twists and turns and unexpected in the end make my story more exciting. ♥

The purpose of pain.

14 Nov

All I’ve felt the past few days, and for several days in the past few weeks, is pain.

What’s the purpose of pain anyway if it just sucks?!

It tells us something’s wrong. It tells our hand to get away from the hot stove, it tells us not to cut ourselves, and the pain in our stomach tells us we’re hungry and in need of nourishment. It tells us when someone has hurt us that it shouldn’t be this way. When someone we love is far away we MISS THEM and our heart hurts and it’s because we’re supposed to be WITH them. When were lonely, the pain is telling us we were made to have connection. When we feel violated or injured we are being told that we should be being LOVED.

I’m not a fan of pain, but it happens, and it has a time, a place, and a purpose.
I just hope I get what I can learn from it and I don’t forget to listen.

‎”we’d never know what’s wrong without the pain…”

Of Bees

9 Jul

The long awaited post: Raw and Unedited

You feel

worn out, exhausted….

somewhere behind you a bees hive was disturbed,

and you, unwilling and too afraid to deal with the result of attack started running,

You’ve been running for awhile now…

(Perhaps for years)

You’re tired of being numb, being disconnected from feeling- from emotion;

It’s the walls you’ve put up lest any of the bees have started to already catch up with you. It’s the umbrella that you duck under to cover yourself with whenever life forces you to stop and take a breath. It’s still avoiding those key little bees.

Part of you is pleased with yourself for your ability to “keep it all together” and not “fall apart” emotionally. You smile when you must look back apon these things, oh but the smile isn’t real. You see friend, when you disconnect all emotions, you also lose the ability to feel joy and happiness.

You may fool people, you may even fool yourself,

but there is One that you will never be able to deceive.

Captivity still has a hold on you. The chains have only changed hands. (The teeth of past abuse/trauma still sunk deep in your flesh)

and now you run on

numb, unfeeling and holding your breath.

A bit like a robot isn’t it?

A bit like unliving is it not?

Was it worth it?

The build up of oceans inside causes cracks through your eyes

now and then

and until your scramble to stop up the leaks is successful, you feel it:

pain.

Things get messy.

Memories don’t stay in the trunks and cavities of the deep down your basement in your mind like their supposed to. They just can’t stay buried forever.

“Personal” here and there leaks into your “professional”

Its a shame to lose that separation.

But was living like a robot so much better?

You start to wonder if it was.

and the bees continue their pursuit and humming behind you.

They will not go away on their own.

The things that you’ve been running from must be dealt with.

So you slow your pace,

and you slow to a stop,

and you let the bees cloud around you.

The stinging is persistent and deep

and it sucks, I won’t lie…..

(and know that He will be with you through all of this)

but one thing about bees:

They die when they sting you.

read that again.

They die when they sting you.

In the process of stabbing you with their stinger and then breaking away, they tear a small piece of themselves, and they cannot live on.

So while this time sucks, and it’s hard and it seems unbearible, and yes unending,

know that it will…

The bees will die off…and then the wounds that were coming that you finally let yourself take will eventually heal…with His help, of course.

and then, while you may bare scars, depending on the injury,

you will be healed. And He will have used the surgery of being stung by these “bees” as part of His process of who He is making you to be.

Romans 8:28

Romans 5:1-5

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.